Mathematician: I Wrote Your Textbook

Introduction
My life is just like John Nash's, except I didn't go to an ivy league or merry a beautiful girl.
I am crazy though.

All I can say is that you better like numbers.
When I was in college, my friends and I had a competition to see who could memorize the most digits that appear in pi. I was the kind of guy who didn't have to crack a book in physics in high school. It just came naturally. If you want to be a mathematician, you pretty much know it from the instant you shoot out of the womb. The first thing I did was count my toes. Mom said I was sucking on them. But I know I was counting. I think you suck, mom.

But teaching is only part of my job. I am a theoretical mathematician, which means that I work on abstract problems that may or may not have correlations to developments in engineering or science. One doesn't have to approach math from the perspective of, "How do I use this?" I hate when students ask me, "Why do I need to know this?" You need to know it because you do, you little twerp. The point is that there are still some of us out there, more than you may realize, who value intellectual inquiry for its own sake, not for how it's going to apply to economics to make everybody richer.

Job Function
The best part of my daily job function is feeling smarter than anybody else. I teach at a university, and most of the students who are attending don't know what they're in for when they sign up for my class. I don't care if they're jocks or artsy-fartsy types. Everybody's gonna be a mathman in my class.

That's not to say that I'm cruel. I can explain things a million different ways for students, and I sparkle things up with jokes like:
"Here, before you let go of that graph, make sure you Cosine!"

Oh, I crack myself up. You have to have a sense of humor about things. After all, when a student comes to you with an F because they can't multiply 42359 by 85432 (It's Easy!) in their head, you have to feign compassion even though you're giggling on the inside. I love marking students' papers with red pens.

What I love most is doing research. That's actually why I got into this field in the first place. I don't like people who aren't like me. Fellow mathematicians are always welcome at my departmental "wine and cheeser" on Friday afternoons. Advertisement
Lifestyle
It's all play, that is if you think looking at shapes of the universe based on geometrical permutations is a hoot. It sure is to me. I have regular teaching hours and I conduct research. You can go into applied mathematics and work for the government or corporations. You can do software design. But that stuff's not very pure to me. I really wouldn't call myself a mathematician if I were calculating how much money a corporation saves if it makes books out of synthetic paper.

I'd call that "a guy who calculates how much money a corporation saves if it makes books out of paper," or a loser.

"Mathematical" is not a personality. It is a gift from God. And if you are lucky enough to have that gift, welcome to the table.

Additional Information
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