WATCH OUT FOR OXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Introduction
Don't judge us by our alcohol comsumption, it's just really essential, we truly do need it, we have tried to change it for the better, but we have been thwarted by the administration at almost every attempt, so we take solace in our alcohol, and then they get on our asses about that. It really is a no-win situation. I choose the school becasue they gave me a very generous fin. aid package, otherwise, stay away, the school is more expensive than USC. If you are either a horny bastard that wants to hook up with as many as possible, or if you hated high school at all, stay away! The small student body size makes the campus like a kind of super high school, and word (and video) travels fast.

Campus Life and Social Life
The ratio of girls to guys is "officailly" 2:1, but don't let the stats fool you. Leaving out the douchebags, and bitches, it really comes down to about 50:1 of those to actual cool people, of both sexes. (not to mention about 30:1 of fugly people to attractive ones. You might as well join an athletic team, which will become your more informal drinking team, so as to never drink alone, since the Greek system is a joke here. Watch out for Moe Oxford, the dumb bitch that lives within 2 blocks away from the college and has made it her sole purpose to single-handly destroy Oxy's party scene, and Ryan Henne, the alternatively lifestyled official who fulfills the same function on-campus (he also runs the greek system... into the ground). Academics
Departments that are the smallest are usually the best, since the profs need as many people as they can in them to keep their departments afloat, so go for them first. CSP classes are really just a universal bonding experience that all frosh got through to find out that they all do have something in common, they all had the damn class. There aren't any TAs here that teach, I don't know if that is good or bad, but it eliminates a certain aspect of Academia. Workload wise, it is the hardest school I have ever been to, and I have been in some hard private schools most of my life.

Student Body
Well, offically, Oxy brags about its diversity, but in realy the majority are spoiled white kids, many of whom either had different connections and came here rather than USC, or didn't want to brave the East coast Ivy league weather, or were too stupid to get into Pomona. Many are from So Cal, but there is a decent amount of scattered West Coast/Western US people, and a few from back East. The ones that aren't into drinking, I don't really know that well, as they usually become closet cases, until they are corrupted.

In Closing...
Our student government, which was disbanded by our old president, has no power whatsoever, our on campus parties suck, the Campus Safety people have huge sticks up their asses for the most part, we are constantly overcharges and nitpicked, our on-campus jobs really aren't the way to go, our profs, unles they are cool, are for the most part unreasonable, tenured pricks, trashed even by their own colleagues. the only really redeeming quality has become the superior athletics and its associated fans and fun.