hetzelf wants your help finding his role in life! Take this short quiz to assess hetzelf's personality and match hetzelf with the role (and top careers/colleges) best suited for his personality and interests. Just decide whether or not you agree with the following statements.

The elderly, foster kids and animal welfare be damned: for hetzelf, "non-profit" is a non-option.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

It would be satisfying for hetzelf to fire someone he didn't like, even if they were doing a good job.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

hetzelf needs a career his Mom or Dad (or Wife/Sister/Brother/friends) can brag about.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

hetzelf spends at least a half hour at the gym every day to keep his smokin' bod in shape--never know when he will need to whip off his shirt for a cheesecake calendar photo shoot.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

hetzelf needs three cups of coffee to shock himself to functional by 10 am.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

According to hetzelf, "A job is a job - its primary purpose is to keep hetzelf housed, clothed and fed."

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

hetzelf would enjoy participating in conference calls with no shirt on.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

hetzelf enjoys self-enrichment: Saturday morning life drawing, evening small business classes, weekend afternoons spent pouring over The Idiot's Guide to _____....

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

Out at dinner with friends, everyone turns to hetzelf when it's time to calculate the tip.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

It really annoys hetzelf when scifi movies get the facts blatantly wrong.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

hetzelf has a unique style, doodles well, and is always the first to know about indie bands.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

hetzelf is the person everyone turns to when they need help writing an essay, cover letter, or fake Doctor's note.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

hetzelf would be bored sitting at a desk all day.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

hetzelf likes telling people what to do.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

hetzelf is always the person who successfully argues to get a grade changed, makes friends with bartenders, and has an easy time getting guys/girls.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

hetzelf would be happy to help a friend move all of their belongings into a 4th-story walk-up.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

hetzelf was the first of our friends to get to second base, crack open a can of PBR and invest in the stock market--but not all in one day.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree

hetzelf would rather celebrate your birthday with a card he made, not one bought in a store.

Strongly disagree Strongly agree